KC: “Please change your daughter. Just put any old onesie on her.”
RB: [Opens the wrong drawer.]
KC: “Honey, those are sleepers.”
RB: [Opens the right drawer.]
KC: “But don’t get a long-sleeved onesie. It’s too hot.”
RB: [Rolls eyes, selects a onesie.]
KC: “No, not that white one.”
RB: “Okay, you know what? Now you can do this.”

Any guesses as to how much time I’ve spent in meetings this month? Any guesses at all?

While you formulate a hypothesis, let me start by saying that I just finished tabulating the total of time I’ve spent in meetings based on the information in my Google Calendar (which I keep up-to-date so that I can fill out my timesheet at the end of each pay period).

Seriously, any guesses? Bear in mind that we are working on financial numbers for the year and for the next, and that’s taking up a lot of time.

Give up?

46 hours and 30 minutes.

That’s how long I’ve been in meetings…just this month. Nearly two full days. And, come tomorrow, I will cross that two day threshold.

Yeah. Meetings and baby. WELCOME TO MY VERY FUN LIFE.

KC: So what do you think about a “Tuscan” look for the living room?

Wife’s First Thought: "Tuscan"

Husband’s First Thought: "Tusken"

I’ve been geeking it up a lot more than usual lately.

Another month half over, another post. Ah well. Just wanted to share this with you. This is a design I cooked up for a career fair we’re attending next week. This will be the backdrop to our table and I really wanted to create something that looked a lot different from the usual, boring “we have our logo printed on a table runner and some generic pictures of business folk on a background” kind of booth. Click the image for a bigger view:

I was really trying to shoot for that whole “don’t let people tell you what is and what isn’t possible” kind of vibe and everyone seems to like it. Each banner will be one foot wide by five feet tall. I’ve already seen the printouts (they’re not mounted yet, though) and it looks impressive without being too imposing.

Really excited about this design. This was fun to create.

Well, because of the child, I have been putting off all nonessential activities: hobbies and distractions, eating, sleeping, fighting off biological pathogens and, of course, blogging. So, I apologize, but I just got two Swiss Cake Rolls in me, so let’s sort out this blogging thing, shall we?

Seems like all the time I have these days is for working, a little caring for the child and then some non-contiguous sleep only to come back and repeat the whole process again the next day. I guess there’s no question as to the cause of why I’ve been sick two times in as many months, not to mention that the stress of work (and launching two sites).

But, still, that shouldn’t be an excuse for not blogging. But even my wife isn’t saying much of anything funny anymore. Mostly when I get home, she just giggles in that sort of manic Daffy Duck laughter that usually precedes him being placed on a stretcher by two burly men, dumped in an ambulance and taken to the Funny Farm™. So, not much material there. Let’s just pretend that she confused Ron Paul with Chris Paul or Les Paul or something. That would be funny, right?

Sophie is fine. We’ve been having some…issues. I guess all new parents go through this kind of stuff: the uncertainty of it all. You end up with entries like "Is it normal for my baby not to have pooped in nine days?" in your Google search history because, seriously, who do you go to for this sort of thing? You wonder why she fusses. Is she hungry? Does her stomach hurt? Is she tired? Is she colicky? Is she gassy? Why won’t she eat? Why does she eat so much? How on earth can she have the hiccups AGAIN?!?

You start wondering if all new parents go through this, freaking out at every little thing that your child does. (Of course, the answer is yes.) You lament the lack of an instruction manual, but given the track record of instruction manuals for baby-related products, you wonder if that would really be beneficial.

In any event, we’re tired and generally lack focus to do anything more brain-intensive than string together monosyllabic-word sentences and watching reruns of Law & Order and trying to guess what clever witticism this week’s random cocksure defense attorney will say. ("I think we’re done here. If you have any other questions, counselor, you can raise them in court." or "This is ridiculous, Jack. You’re lucky I don’t file a motion to hold you in contempt right now.")

As a testament to this, my wonderful wife, for example, locked her keys in the trunk today, spent ten fruitless minutes trying to find them before calling me for help in a panic. I reminded her of the fact that the trunk is opened from the outside while the car is unlocked. "Oh yeah," she said. (Additionally, I nearly forgot about that anecdote until she asked if I was posting about it. “You’re not blogging about me locking the keys in the trunk, are you?” she asked. Word to the wise: if he doesn’t bring it up, it’s because he forgot about it.)

Anyways, where was I going with all this? Clearly I shouldn’t post while sleep deprived, but that’s how I got into this situation in the first place. Maybe this post could be considered a warning: before having kids, make sure you have enough money for a maid and an au pair first?

Oh yeah, did I mention that my parents are flying into town tomorrow? (Hopefully…) It will be the first time they get to see their first grandchild in the flesh. Our house is a wreck and we both feel like wrecks. This should be fun.

Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!

[Setup: Sitting and watching Super Bowl pregame coverage. That Peyton and Eli Manning Oreo commercial comes on.]

KC: [sarcastically] You know, their parents always look so proud when they do these stupid commercials.

RB: [Half paying attention, mostly playing Wordsplay] Mm-hmm.

KC: You know, like that commercial with Matt Lauer?

RB: [Now paying attention] Matt Lauer? Oh! You mean Matt Leinart!

KC: Yeah, Matt Leinart! Who did I say?

So, as a point of reference:

Matt Lauer Co-host of The Today Show Used to be an ESPN sideline reporter in the 1980s, and that’s about it for the sports connections. Weird buzzcut Kind of a goober

Matt Leinart Led the USC Trojans to two National Championships and three straight appearances. 2004 Heisman Trophy winner First-round draft pick by the Arizona Cardinals A goober, but in that frat boy goober kind of way.

And now you know.